To: Mr. Stephen James
From: Harriet Tubman

Too forward? Too forward? Lay off the scotch for a minute, Stephen, and listen to what you are saying.

You are wanting me to send $1150 USD, to a contact I have never met or corresponded with. There's several real problems here, that you have either forgotten about, or purposely neglected to respond to.

  1. ) I told you in one of our first correspondences, that I need to deal in Japanese Yen, for US tax purposes. Yet, you insist on dealing in USD. Is that an example of you "serving me" in this matter? No, I don't think so sir. Do you want to see me drowning in excessive tax? I want it that way.

  2. ) You have given me two different addresses for Mr. Orlando. That doesn't exactly instill confidence in him, sir. I would encourage you to explore your own self, and decide if you think it's reasonable to think that Mr. Orlando has two different addresses. Does that seem plausible to you? And as your friend (I think), I shared my concern of you getting scammed, and instead of thanking me, you chastised me in a very parsimonious tone. What even? This Mr. Orlando figure seems to think he is larger than life.

  3. ) I have asked you repeatedly to tell me a little bit about yourself. Do you have a family? Have you been to the US before for vacation? I even offered to travel to London, to meet you personally, so we could expedite this deal. You forbid me to travel to London, for some unknown reason. And now I am getting low on tea. I should have just come to London in the first place. You have a habit, sir, of giving me incomplete information.

So, in sum, you will see that it is indeed YOU that have been difficult to deal with in this situation. Have a member of your board contact me by Dec. 10, or the deal is off. Quit playing games with my heart. I should have known from the start.

P.S. - Cat is fine.

Additional Thoughts:

Stephen called me forward in list last message. Nobody calls me that. Ever. Or whatever.

This seemed like the proper time to go full on Backstreet Boys with old Stephen. How has he not caught on by this point?